


Soft and only, lost and lonely

by Sunrayne



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/F, Geek!Ava, Slow Burn, Smug!Sara, Tension bc we love tension, They're both controlfreaks in their own ways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunrayne/pseuds/Sunrayne
Summary: Sara Lance (loud, awake at weird times and annoyingly smug) starts as a freshman at Legends University and becomes roommates with sophomore Ava Sharpe (structured, uptight andtrying to get some goddamn work done). They don't hit it off, to put it lightly. Prepare yourself for a lot of tension, back-and-forth challenging, a wild but secretly depressed Sara, and eventual smut. Slowburn, y'all.Simpler said: the university/roommate AU we definitely don't need but still have a weakness for.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 59
Kudos: 120





	1. Ava

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! 
> 
> I couldn't fight the urge to start writing about Avalance, so here you go. This story will be multi-chaptered and I'll update as frequently as possible. I hope you'll enjoy reading, I'm too much of a perfectionist and never seem satisfied with anything I make/write, lol.
> 
> English isn't my first language and this isn't beta'd. If you find any mistakes, feel free let me know!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Password?"_
> 
> (Siri, what is the most effective way to get rid of a human form of a headache?)
> 
> (Also, Siri, can you explain why God gifted Sara Lance with eyes as blue as hers? They're annoyingly beautiful and she doesn't deserve them.)
> 
> "What are you, six years old?"
> 
> "You're no fun."

The first time icy seas met stormy clouds, it involved the violation of personal space and unnecessary loudness.

————

Ava Sharpe hummed satisfied, eyeing the perfectly sorted binders layed out on her — also perfectly tucked — bedsheets. She then put all maps and papers on top of eachother, forming a neat pile, and placed them onto the reserved spot on her desk. _Excellent_. 

The twenty-years-old spent today and yesterday re-organizing and -decorating her room, reuniting with her friends and reading into this years' information. It wasn't that she was that much of a perfectionist (okay, she _kind of_ was), but she liked it this way. It kept her head clean.

She arrived at Legends University yesterday, a day before it was required to move into the dorms, and, three days before the first semester would start. It gave her enough time to meet up with Gary and Lily and to get everything ready the way she wanted it to be. It would also provide her of a free Sunday, where she ordered herself to relax before everything would go back to her classes-then-studying routine.

The last two months of her first year had been a blast. Coming back after classes to a silent room, leaving her capable of concentrating, was more than she could've hoped for. Her roommate, Hope Allerson, was forced out after an incident. Long story short: she decided it was a good idea to threat a professor with a knife. 

Ava always thought the girl had issues.

The empty bed and wall on the left side of the room, momentarily lacking of life, felt confronting. It wouldn't be long before her new roommate would move in and she could only pray for someone at least seventy percent normal. The only information given was her name, Sara Lance, and the fact that she was a freshman. She didn't go into it, didn't even Google her name, because why would she?  
  
It wasn't like it could be worse than Hope Knive-owning Allerson anyways.

(Little did she know it came close.)

Ava spent the rest of her Saturday having burgers for dinner with Gary and Lily; chit-chatting their way into a cloudless evening. Both her friends, and Ava herself, passed last year with outstanding grades. It was mostly the reason the three connected on instant and became friends; they shared a passion for knowledge and quickly found their way to eachother somewhere in the first few weeks of freshman year. Their friendship was easy and nice and even though they Facetime-d from time to time during summer break, they had plenty to catch up to. She'd missed Gary's (somewhat annoying) jokes and Lily's fun-facts and listening ear.  
  
At nine pm her door fell into its lock behind her, revealing nothing but the contrast of her neat side and the still unoccupied space of the other. Frowning at the fact Sara Lance was late or didn't seem to come at all, Ava changed into a blue-and-white striped sweather and a pair of black leggings.  
  
She plugged her earphones in her phone, placed them in her ears and zoned out on top of her bed. It didn't take long before her eyes closed. She didn't sleep well last night. The voice of Robert Smith faded slowly into nothing while she drifted away before she could notice.

...

The sound of a smartcard being accepted did go unnoticed, but the loud smack of the door being knocked into the wall didn't. Ava shot upright and practically _flew_ against her headboard, her eyes abruptly opening. She automatically fixed them on the clock and found out she dozed off for two hours. After a few blinks her gaze focused on the source of noise and found a busy-moving silhouette. Who thought it'd be great to start moving in _at eleven pm_? 

_Jesus fucking Christ._

The now visible dooropening showed her a slim and short frame, long (but not as long as hers) and loose blonde hair, and a pair of bright blue eyes that seemed capable of drawing anyones attention. Not to forget: a _lot_ of stuff. Not to forget 2.0: a smirk on the girls' face that could've meant nothing but trouble. Not to forget 3.0: three, just as loud, other people behind her.

Ava stayed on her bed, but brought herself into a more decent position; cross-legged and with a straight back — judging the situation from the small distance. No-one said anything to her as they were being too caught up in carrying (most likely) Sara's stuff. A frown made its way on Ava's face.

"Thanks, guys. _No_ , Nate! Drop that box _carefully_!" The voice that must have belonged to Sara Lance dominated other laughter and chatting, shortly followed by another 'bang' caused by yet another harshly dropped box. She heard Sara hiss but giggle. She actually _giggled_ , who the hell still did that after their tenth year of living? The shared 'goodbyes' led into the others leaving and only then Sara's eyes met hers. 

"Sara Lance," Ava stated, her tone neutral and her eyebrow raised.

"The one and only. You're Ava Sharpe?" Sara asked. The nineteen-years-old took her time to eye the room, met Ava's gaze again — who nodded in confirmation — and decided to close the door. Close as in: gave it the most unnecessarily hard throw with her foot. Ava winced and noticed some of her papers slowly making its way to the floor. With a sigh the blonde got up and carefully placed them back on her desk. She heard Sara chuckle behind her.

"Aren't you quite the neat freak, _Sharpie_?" 

The fact she had to supress another sigh said enough: the 'seventy-percent-normal' wasn't achieved. Hooray. Maybe her prayers weren't heard because she was a lesbian — hopefully Satan was capable of answering her silent calling next time. It looked like she'd need it.

"Are you always this annoying, _present_ and loud?"

" _Maybe_."

"I don't like it."

"Okay."

"Was it too hard to arrive here and unpack your stuff during the day like all other students?" 

"Yes."

And there, the chances to reach at least a level of friendliness with her roommate, went. 

What she found most annoying, was that never-leaving smirk on her face. It made her appearance all smug-y. Something told her others could find this look attractive, all challenging, and that she often made use of this knowlegde. Ava just rolled her eyes. Keeping an eye on Sara, her legs found their way back to her bed. She decided to stick to her own plan that involved a book, relaxing, and probably sleep soon.

Ava opened her well-worn copy (she was a fan of re-reading favorites once in a while) of 'To Kill a Mockingbird' without saying another word, and couldn't even finish the first sentence her eyes laid upon before the sound of her new roommate starting throwing and shifting stuff kept her from concentrating. Sara was busy opening up her boxes and an incredible amount of clothes found their way on her bed. She tried to focus on her book again, blocking the blondes' presence. The sound of clashing bottles ringed in her ears and made Ava look up yet again, only to see her fishing a couple of bottles out of a bag. 

"Alcohol isn't allowed in the dorms."

"It's not like anyone will find out."

"It isn't that hard to follow the rules."

Sara just chuckled.

Ava wasn't that difficult to get along with. Yes, she wasn't that much of a talker and took a lot (maybe a bit _too_ ) serious, some would describe her as uptight maybe, but she was caring and warmhearted. If Sara Lance was capable of following the rules and didn't immediately found a way under her skin, she'd ask her about where she was from and would probably offer to help her unpack. The thing is, if you're able to piss her off, you had zero chance. The bullying in her past made her accept nothing but normal behaviour and approaching. In this case it felt like it was going to be quite the ride.

(She wasn't wrong.)

Who decided it was the best plan to pair Sara (not that she knew anything about her, but she'd _swear_ she was the type that only wanted and had it her ways) up with _her_ (she was here to get most out of it, to actually achieve her goals, because why would she attend one of the most high-ranked universities otherwise)?

If there was one thing Sara didn't seem to know about, it was calmth. If it couldn't get any worse, she started humming. Ava clenched her jaw, closed her book harder than necessary and walked towards the door after collecting some things.

"Where are you going, Sharpie? Can't stand my _alluring_ presence?"

Ava sighed, but didn't turn around to look at her.

"I'm going to take a shower. Please, stay on your side of the room and be _careful_."

"Yes, boss."

...

How did the perfectly organized Ava _freaking_ Sharpe forget her smartcard? It never happened to her before. She never lost anything in her life, to be honest. A groan left her lips as she closed her eyes to mentally prepare herself, before she knocked on her door. It wasn't like she had any other choice.

It didn't take long before the door opened, only to reveal Sara, whose expression changed from neutral to amused. Ava said nothing and wanted to pass her, but Sara didn't move.

"Password?"

(Siri, what is the most effective way to get rid of a human form of a headache?)

(Also, Siri, can you explain why God gifted Sara Lance with eyes as blue as hers? They're annoyingly beautiful and she doesn't deserve them.)

"What are you, six years old?"

"You're no fun."

Ava tried to walk past her yet again, but Sara didn't even move an inch. With a murmered _"ugh"_ she softly pushed her aside with her shoulder and made her way inside. She really was a child. Sara found it necessary to chuckle behind her again. The cleanliness surprised her; not everything seemed unpacked, but the still unopened boxes were shoved against the wall, stacked. Nonchalantly, Ava gave the posters and pictures she put up on her wall a fast glance. There were a lot of photo's with people she assumed were her friends and family. She also spotted a dog; a brown Labrador that dominated at least fifty percent of the wall. Also, she was a Captain Marvel fan?

"Surprised?" Sara had closed the door in the meantime, and the way she waved to the boxes and her now-ready bed made clear she aimed it at how she got everything at least a bit presentable in a little bit over an hour. 

(Yes, Ava liked long showers and also brushed her teeth longer than any existing man on earth. Her skincare routine took some time too. Laugh all you want, but she'd be the one laughing when she still looked fresh as a daisy at the age of fourty.)

"Kind of," Ava replied after she cleared her throat.

Without further ado, she placed all used items back in their original spots and changed into something to sleep in. She didn't dare (or care) to check if her assumption was right, but she could feel Sara look at her when she stepped her long legs into shorts. 

"I'm going to try to sleep. Turn the lights off when you're done doing whatever you're doing, but don't be loud."

Before her damp hair would drench her pillow, Ava carefully tucked a towel around the edges. A satisfied sound made its way out when her body sank into the matress, her warm blanket covering her. 

She replied to a few texts and scrolled through Instagram for a bit. After ten minutes her eyes became heavy and her phone was placed on the nightstand. Her body rolled over to her side so her eyes met the wall, which she closed. 

"The password was 'Director Sharpe' by the way. I mean, you seem like a fan of bossing me around, already, so."

Ava acted like she didn't hear her and fell asleep not too long after.


	2. Ava

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I couldn't sleep. I went running," Sara replied with a straight face, like it wasn't weird at all.
> 
> "In the middle of the night?" Ava raised her eyebrows.
> 
> "Forgive me for I have sinned, O'Mighty Sharpe." _Of course_ Sara emphasized the words by making the well-known cross-motion with her right hand.
> 
> "You're unbelievable."
> 
> "No, I'm Sara."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I didn't exactly plan to post again already, but here we are. I mean, why wait?
> 
> Again, this is not beta'd.

One of Ava's eyes opened tentatively and it didn't take long before the other followed. The room was pitch black, the only source of light came from the neon-colored numbers of her digital clock. That, not to her liking, displayed a disappointing 02:30. The sound that must have woken her up repeated itself — unmistakably something falling —, but was now followed by soft swearing. A sudden flashlight led to Ava getting upright in her bed; hand blindly searching for the switch of the lamp above her headboard.

Light filled the room. 

"You've got to be kidding me," Ava groaned when she became aware it was _Sara_. What the hell was she doing up? Also, why was she wearing a jacket?

This was their first shared night, for God's (oh, wait, _Satan's_ ) sake. 

"Yes, spare me the speech, I was loud, bla-bla. In my defense, it's because _you_ left your shoes beside the door."

"What are you doing?" Ava asked, her voice not more than a low rasp because of her still sleepy state. She wanted to inform her of the fact her shoes were placed there with care, sorted by color even, but she decided to keep it short.

"I couldn't sleep. I went running," Sara replied with a straight face, like it wasn't weird at all.

"In the middle of the night?" Ava raised her eyebrows.

"Forgive me for I have sinned, O'Mighty Sharpe." _Of course_ Sara emphasized the words by making the well-known cross-motion with her right hand.

"You're unbelievable."

"No, I'm Sara." 

Ava turned around and hid her face in her pillow, groaning. "I'm going to sleep. Please do too." With that she reached up, still laying on her front, and flicked the light off. 

Thankfully she had a free day tomorrow.

...

Except she didn't. Not really, at least.

This time it wasn't her roommate that caused her waking up, but the monotone sound of her alarm. She immediately turned it off after it only made a single noise, just like every other day. Her eyes landed on Sara, still asleep. The sun had found its way through a crack between curtains — the mess Sara's late night entry left behind now fully visible.

Ava unlocked her phone. She had a couple of unread messages. Her mother asked if all was good (she replied with a simple 'yes' and asked how they were doing at home) and Gary and Lily shared their curiosity in their groupchat. 

— How's your new roommate, Aves? (Lily)

— Sara Lance was it, right? I heard someone on campus say she's hot. (Gary)

Ava started typing.

— She's the worst.

At the moment her thumb hit the send-button, Gary popped online. Not to her surprise: he was pretty much addicted to his technology and woke up extremely early because 'it's most beneficial for your body'.

— Hope Allerson awful?

— It's another level of awful, but she keeps calling me Sharpie, woke me up in the middle of the night and made a dad-joke. A fucking dad-joke. She only arrived here nine hours ago, save me.

— But is she hot?

— Ugh, Gary. No.

Except she was, Ava was not _blind_. Not that she'd ever admit that to anyone, not even herself. Her attitude made her anything but attractive. She wasn't her type, anyway.

— James texted me a couple of minutes ago; he wants sophomores to show freshmen around campus. He asked us if we wanted to help.

Ava frowned at the text. 

James Marnes was their RA. Ava wouldn't call him a friend, they weren't that close, but they got along. Gary and him were friends though. They'd known eachother since they were kids and both ended up here.

The day before the semester would officially start was always free, but within quotation marks. It often involved a planned and required meeting with the RA and freshmen puzzling their ways in and around all buildings. Ava figured the only thing she had to do today was going to said meet-up, especially since she got everything all figured out. Babysitting wasn't on her to-do list.

She replied.

— Seriously?

It took only one second to get a response.

— I told him we'd do it. See it as a compliment, he thinks we're capable.

— He's your friend, Gary.

— See you in an hour, Aves.

Lily seemed to have woken up, too.

— It'll be fun. We can relax after, right? You can spill the tea (I hate myself for using this phrase) on your new roommate when we walk around. See you soon!

With that Ava tossed her phone to the other end of the bed and threw the blankets off her body. The quiet was nice, and she used Sara's still sleeping form to her advantage and got herself ready in peace. She cleaned herself up, dressed into jeans and a blazer, put on a little bit of makeup and twirled her hair into a bun.

At the time she was making up her bed, Sara woke up. It took her five hits to actually slam the right button on her clock. The groan and the hand that went straight to her forehead, probably meaning her head hurt due the lack of sleep, made Ava prepare herself for quite the mood. Not that she'd become the victim; she was just about to leave.

"RA meeting is up at ten. You should be there, Lance." 

Before she heard her answer, the door closed behind her. This time she had her smartcard though. She only checked it for about ten times.

...

Legends University (Ava cringed at the name, but whatever) knew a couple of dorms with each ten levels and approximately fifty students per floor. James was RA of the upper five floors of Ava's building; Heather Wynter of the lower five. It made for the (around) fifty people currently standing in the room used for activities like these. They decided to split James' group in five; each floor their own small gathering. 

This meeting always served as a way of telling everyone at once what to expect of the year, what to do in certain circumstances, etcetera.

After a small chit-chat with James, first Lily and then Gary joined her. 

When the clock reached ten and James started speaking up, Sara was still nowhere to be seen.

(Not that she cared.)

(Really, though, she didn't.)

...

It didn't take much to convince Ava to help James out. She hadn't seen Lily and Gary (except for yesterday then, of course) for seven weeks and it was nice to have them around again. Even though she could think of plenty other things to do, maybe it wasn't too bad showing the new students around and making them aware of the norms. It was what she was best in, after all. Gary would be there mostly for entertainment purposes. Lily fell kind of between the two.

Why _Ava_ didn't choose to become a RA, you ask?

Well, _if only_ she had the time. The amount of extra research the girl did beyond classes was insane. Ava had always been interested in law and politics ( _surprise_ ) and was motivated enough to study as much a she could to get where she wanted to be. Oh, and she wanted to maintain at least _a bit_ of social life.

Most of their floor were at least sophomores though, which only left three people in need of a tour. James told them they had a really low rating, while the freshmen dominated most of the other halls. Oh well.

"It's your lucky day, you can boss me around, Director Sharpe."

 _Four people_.

Ava turned around at the sudden sound of Sara's voice and already scolded herself for not taking an aspirin first thing in the morning. 

Sara was clad in black jeans and a leather jacket. Her eyes were encircled by long, mascara'd eyelashes, but she looked somewhat tired. The enthusiastic gasp she heard coming from Gary and the way he elbowed Lily seemed to tell she still looked more attractive than the average person anyway.

" _Stop calling me that_."

"In a bad mood?" Sara asked, one eyebrow raised.

"You're the cause of my lack of sleep and why weren't you at the meeti—," Ava didn't finish her sentence, took a breath instead and rolled her eyes. "You know what, nevermind. I don't care. Follow us and keep your mouth shut, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

"Does everything you do or say have to involve some kind of challenge?" Ava sighed, her tone harsh. Sara shrugged to that.

Ava shared a meaningful, hopeless, look with her two other friends. They'd involved themselves with the other three already. Lily snorted and gave her a compassionated shrug — Gary winked at her.

"Lets go," Gary spoke up and led the small group out of the room.

"Walk, Lance."

Planning to close the door behind them, Ava waited unpatiently until Sara had passed her. Instead of keeping a normal distance, the girl walked pass her extemely close — close enough to make Ava aware of her perfume, before turning around the corner, leaving Ava clench her jaw, yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Ava _trying_ to provide the new students of information while Sara doesn't make it easy for her. We'll learn a bit more about Sara — it'll be from her pov.


	3. Sara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, she had a couple of good friends. A best friend too, Zari. With them being exceptions — even though still not sharing her deepest feelings too often —, Sara didn't like being in the position where someone other than herself was capable of ripping her apart. Only she was allowed to do so. It felt safe, and it worked for her.
> 
> She was a master in quick words, witty remarks and shameless flirtation. It was how she dealt with pretty much everything. It was how she'd deal with Ava Sharpe, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! This chapter will give you a deeper look into Sara's motives. I hope I'm doing a great job sketching their stories so far. I'm curious whether you can guess what happened to Sara those two years ago. I love reading comments, so thanks so much to everyone leaving those and kudos so far! Also, feel free to hit me up on Instagram, my username is @badasslance.
> 
> This is not beta'd. Feel free to point out mistakes.

Her eyes felt heavy and they silently screamed for sleep, but her mind protested. It always did. Her head felt too hollow yet too much. She needed sleep. She also _didn't_ want to let her mind possibly go where it went whenever she wasn't capable of controlling her thoughts. It had been the same battle, the choice between tiredness or pain, everyday, since the 12th of October, two years ago. 

Sara Lance hated nights.

A look to her right made her aware Ava was asleep, her expression (she probably turned in her sleep, now facing towards her) peaceful. The harsh lines her face knew during the day (or, better said, at around eleven pm) changed into something quite soft.

 _Ava Sharpe_. 

When Sara's eyes found the tall blonde for the first time a couple of hours ago, it became immediately clear it wouldn't be too hard to get under her skin. The uptightness that surrounded her like a thick, invisible blanket was unable to see around. Everything about her screamed control. Her side of the room, the way her hair was in this tight bun and how she sat upright on her bed were perfect, _too perfect_ — and if Sara hated something, it was perfection.  
  
Maybe it was pure jealousy; Sara was and would never be able to be anything _near_ that organized, neat and right and it was frustrating to her competitive self. Maybe it was just because those type of people were the worst. Same thing with grammar nazi's. Just shut the fuck up. It's not like you'd die because something isn't written with a capital letter. Get over yourself.

(Now she thought of it, Ava would totally be that grammar nazi.)

Anyway: she Googled her. Of course she did. It didn't make her much wiser though — the girl had all social media profiles on private (now she'd met her it didn't come as a surprise at all) and the only information found was some sort of price she won three years ago at a math contest. (Also, no surprise.)

It'd always been easy for Sara to make others fall apart under her fingers. (Sexually too.) Most would say it was unhealthy, how she tested people out, trying to find their weaknesses. Not that she acted on it, not really, but it made her feel in charge. It made her feel less vulnerable.  
  
Ava seemed like a challenge and a fan of a good ol' challenge she was. It'd be fun to see her break. Nobody could be this perfect. Besides, it wasn't like Sara could do something else anyway. It wasn't like she could be _friendly_ with her. The way Ava's stormy eyes bore into her, practically shoving her beauty and manners in her face, was too terrifying. No, this was the only way she could deal with her. 

It became a sort of coping mechanism over the years. It wasn't like she meant to be distant or rude; the walls built themselves up without her noticing at first, and then they became too high for her to break them down again. It was easy like this. It held people off. Off enough for her to be _good_. 

Yes, she had a couple of good friends. A best friend too, Zari. With them being exceptions — even though still not sharing her deepest feelings too often —, Sara didn't like being in the position where someone other than herself was capable of ripping her apart. Only she was allowed to do so. It felt safe, and it worked for her.

She was a master in quick words, witty remarks and shameless flirtation. It was how she dealt with pretty much everything. It was how she'd deal with Ava Sharpe, too.

... 

And it was exactly how she dealt with her when she woke her up after her midnight-run and her roommate wasn't too happy about her. 

...

The pounding 'beep' of her alarm finally gave up after a few missed slams. One of her hands went straight to her head after a groan: both from the loud, commanding voice that broke the silence too soon and the sharp sting in her head. Nothing an aspirin couldn't fix.

She didn't respond to Ava; wasn't quick enough to have words ready before the door closed behind her tall body. Her assumption got confirmed when her face rolled to her left and found indeed a made up bed. Shoes were in that perfect row next to the door again, too.

Sara mentally rolled her eyes.

The RA meeting was unnecessary and would be a waste of time. She knew what to expect. Instead of making her headache worse by hurrying, the blonde gave herself time to pull herself together. The tiredness was soon enough beaten by a hot shower, medicin and coffee. Sara forced herself into eating something as well. At the time she finished putting on her daily makeup (nothing too special: mascara, brows and a bit of highlighter) she felt good enough to get through the day.

Good enough to get herself through a tour, at least.

...

Sara could feel Ava stiffen when she walked by her close enough to have fabrics of clothes brush against eachother. She was convinced Ava noticed the soft hint of cocos coming from her hair. The smell was Ava's favorite — everything scented in her room, candles, her chapstick, had a coconut fragrance.

Yes, Sara was observing. She always had been. Little to no detail did go unnoticed and it wasn't like she was trying. Maybe it was yet another form of control she wanted to grasp onto (most likely), but maybe it was because God wanted her to become a detective or something. 

Either way, God's will or not, criminology was what she wanted to mayor. It had other reasons, though.

The black-haired guy and the brown-haired girl turned out to be Ava's friends. It didn't take long to figure out their names: Gary and Lily. (Ava was the type of person who fitted the names of the people she spoke to in almost every sentence. Instead of "how are you", she'd be like "how are you, Sara". Annoying.) They seemed much less tense or harsh, and she actually liked the 'goof' Gary carried around him. He led the group for now, talking to the other three Sara didn't care about, and looked more than comfortable doing so. The repeatedly clicking of heels against concrete told Ava was close behind her.

She followed them, hoping in an hour or so she'd be at the local café her and Zari planned to meet up. 

If not finished by then, she'd leave either way.

The sudden sunlight outside made her blink a couple of times before getting used to the dazzling brightness. It felt weird being back here, her last visit being two and a half years ago. A weird feeling overtook her all of a sudden, as if she only now fully realized she was _here_. She shook the thoughts off and decided to focus on what was ahead of her. And behind her. 

"Having a blast, Ava?" Sara asked without turning. It was easier to turn to her than to let her thoughts get the upper hand.

"Absolutely," Ava shared, sarcastically. 

"Your friends don't seem to have a stick up their ass," Sara broke the silence between the two again, observing. Ava huffed. "They're nice," came out shortly after. If Ava was offended, she hid it well. When Sara looked up at her, her expression was still neutral, focused.

Ava didn't really interact with the others, looking like she was deep into her own thoughts. The small group came to a halt at the middle of the schoolgrounds after Gary stopped talking. Sara wasn't really paying attention to everything said, but the instant lack of Gary's voice got her out of her head.  
  
Legends University knew a lot of green, many benches and students splayed across the flowery fields. At the center, where they were standing at the moment, it gave the perfect overview of most buildings. Ava stepped forward and cleared her throat. "The university works kind of like a circle: this is the center and every ring around it knows other buildings. You see, the buildings surrounding us right now are where the classes take place. The ring behind it are dorms..."

"Sara Lance?"  
  
Sara turned around when hearing a man's voice. He looked around three years older than her. A puzzled look made its way onto her face, doubting whether she knew this person. Before her mind came up with a name or memory, he spoke up again. "I'm Dean, ...remember?" The name caught her off guard, connecting it and the slightly familiar face to the memory she was just searching for.   
  
Sara opened her mouth, but couldn't find words. After a few seconds of silence she closed it again, her eyes wide, blinking. Her blue's met Ava's and the annoyed (she interrupted her, of course) yet questioningly look on her face made her swallow. 

"I have to go."

Without another word or explanation Sara turned around, leaving a puzzled Dean, Ava, Lily, Gary and the others whom she didn't know the names of, behind. While walking rapidly, the blonde digged her phone out of her pocket and typed in a fast message to her best friend. She needed to get out of here. Her face felt hot and her mind full _and the thoughts needed to go_.  
  
Nothing she couldn't fix with either a onenightstand or a drink, though. She chose for the latter.

— z, i'll be at the waverider in a couple of minutes x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: a type of evening Ava _didn't_ plan to have.


	4. Ava

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day turned out to be the kind she was hoping for, _but the evening sure wasn't_. Her own side of the room was still intact, thank God, but it couldn't be said about Sara's. Her bed was packed with two of her friends. Ava remembered both their faces from yesterday evening, when they helped her with carrying her stuff into the room. The loud ones. Her nightstand was decorated with a few half-empty bottles of alcohol.
> 
> Hell to the no.
> 
> " _Sharpie_! We're playing truth or dare."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This update is a bit later than expected and than I wanted it to be, but I've been quite busy. Besides that, I didn't feel satisfied with my writing (I don't know if it's just me and if it makes sense, but as a non-native English speaker/writer it feels like I lack the variousity of words?) and since I feel like I'll never be, here it is anyway. Hope it's just me and you'll still enjoy reading it. Next chapter will include a lot of dialogue between the two. I'll try to upload this week again.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, bookmarks and kudos so far — it makes me the happiest!
> 
> Again, not beta'd. Feel free to point out mistakes.

The day turned out to be the kind she was hoping for, after all.

Calmth ran through Ava's body — a feeling of content that was rare to her. She always had that after a day that didn't make her suffer (too much or at all) or went exactly how she planned it to be. Often stressed and on her toes, being able to worry about nothing for a bit felt like heaven.

A deep and satisfying exhale between the constant holding of breath.

The presence of Lily and Gary was good for her. They knew how hard she was on herself and often forced her into taking it easy. Or, as Gary liked to say (read: yell): " _self-care, Ava, self-care!_ " He was pretty much the describtion of 'overly dramatic', but he was right. More so than she wanted to admit.  
  
Ava was the type of person that ordered everyone she loved to look after themselves, but wasn't strict on following that rule herself. At least her friends knew her well enough to have picken up this behaviour, because her parents didn't even notice. Or they didn't _want_ to notice, which was even worse if you'd think about it.

She knew it was necessary to at least _try_ loosen up from time to time, especially since she wouldn't allow herself to waste _any_ time on nonsense when school started. It wasn't like she wanted to over-achieve or work herself to death so she could rub it into others' faces, to feel better. No, it was because it felt like it was the only thing she was _good_ at. Perfect, even. And perfect was what she needed to be.

Less was unacceptable.

Even Gary couldn't talk her out of that mentality with his weird (but often true), spiritual sayings.

She wondered what Sara's deal was earlier that day. It felt weird catching her without having a word ready straight away, clearly unfocused, which seemed out of character. Not that she knew anything about her, really. It was just that she thought of herself as someone who could read people easily.  
  
Had it to do with that guy? Was he an ex-boyfriend? On one end it felt satisfying seeing Sara loose her tongue and being out of it. At the same time, it made her feel weird. Seeing people vulnerable made her uncomfortable. She wasn't really the emotional kind. 

(Of course she wasn't.)

The guy had left too, not long after Sara. Ava, freed from most-likely a lot of remarks, had continued sharing her knowledge of Legends, and it had taken another hour before they treated every necessary subject. Without Sara around her to claim most of her time, Ava quickly learned the new students were named Elin, David and Lexi. They parted ways with the promise they could always ask for their help.  
  
Lily and Gary convinced her into going to the boulevard after and the rest of the day and evening knew sunshine, ice-cream, the sharing of roommate dilemma's (Lily wasn't quite lucky, as well) and laughter. It was nice. Ava's mind wandered to the encounter with Sara more frequently than she wanted it to, because it wasn't like she cared. Hell no. It just bothered her she didn't know what was going on.

Control-thing, you see? 

Sara was an ass for showing up late and acting like nothing happened at all, anyways. Her being able to shake her nerves off for once made clear that Sara had at least some sort of connection to her feeling tense. Gosh, and she only knew her for even less than two days. 

(Little did she know Sara caused those nerves because hell, she found the young woman at least a bit intriguing.)

The red-and-orange sky had faded into an almost black while she walked back to her dorm. The sound of her favorite song playing through earphones only increased her relaxed state of mind. She didn't listen to that particular song too often. You know, when you love a song so intensely that you're afraid it'll loose it's magic if you'd listen to it too often? Today 'deserved' it, though. Tomorrow would be hectic. Besides that, it felt only right to hold onto her light mood for as long as it was possible.

_Spinning on that dizzy edge  
Kissed her face and kissed her head  
Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow  
Why are you so far away she said  
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?  
That I'm in love with you?_

(Every lyric by The Cure was amazing and dreamy and gorgeous and you couldn't tell Ava otherwise.)

Just before she reached the front of her door and starting fumbling in her bag for her smartcard, the muffled sound of laughter and chatting reached her ears.  
  
The chances of Sara being in the room had been high, of course. The chances of her being loud and of her breaking at least one rule had been high, too. Then why did it surprise her to come back to whatever this was? Well, maybe because the last couple of months had been lovely _quiet_.

With a swipe of her finger Robert Smith stopped singing mid-sentence.

Preparing herself for what was to come by closing her eyes for a second and taking a deep breath, Ava swiped her card. She opened to door. 

The day turned out to be the kind she was hoping for, _but the evening sure wasn't_. Her own side of the room was still intact, thank God, but it couldn't be said about Sara's. Her bed was packed with two of her friends. Ava remembered both their faces from yesterday evening, when they helped her with carrying her stuff into the room. The loud ones. Her nightstand was decorated with a few half-empty bottles of alcohol.

Hell to the no.

" _Sharpie_! We're playing truth or dare." 

At the moment Sara detected movement and eventually Ava, an annoying grin took over on her face. Ava groaned. Her insecurity of earlier had changed into something almost innocently enthusiastic.  
  
Earlier she felt great about Sara losing her grip, but it seemed like the girl had gotten herself back together. Even more so — her eyes had this sparkle in them and her cheeks had this soft, pink-ish flush that hadn't been there before. It looked nice on her.

Except she was — at least — tipsy. And breaking rules. And tomorrow was the first day of school _and she had to get up at seven in the morning_.

"There are no people allowed in someone else's room after ten o'clock," Ava stated. The presence of Sara's friends did little to nothing to her. They were busy talking to each other anyways and the glances they gave her went by unnoticed. Maybe it was a bit unfair to judge them without having shared a single word, but they were also responsible for... this. Ava took her coat off, put her shoes in the right place and hung her bag on the edge of her chair. 

Sara pouted and it'd be adorable if she wasn't an actual nightmare. The smirk returned. At least that look on her face made Ava capable of feeling angry instead of something else she couldn't grasp. Didn't _want_ to grasp. There was no way she'd allow her brain into finding Sara even the tiniest bit attractive. Adorable was even worse.

"Turn off the music at least," Ava sighed. It wasn't a question, more of an order.

She wasn't in the mood for a discussion. Instead she blocked out the scene in front of her and hopped onto her bed. Her phone found its way in her hand and she started mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. With a soft "yes, Director" Sara turned off the speaker. Ava only rolled her eyes.

"Have it your way, just leave me out of it and make sure everything's back to silent in an hour, or I'll report you." 

With that she got the attention of Sara's friends; a handsome guy with brown hair and a girl with dark hair and dark eyes, also attractive. The same girl opened her mouth and kept her hand against her cheek in an attempt to exclude Sara: "we were only keeping an eye on Sara, we're just about to leave." She turned to the blonde who took another sip of whatever drink and took the glass out of her hand. Ava decided to stay out of it, but nodded.

"Yooou've had enough. Sara, darling, we're leaving. You should get some rest and sleep this off," the raven-haired followed and Sara groaned disapprovingly in response. 

"But Z, I was about to ask Nate a question!" Sara said, frowning.

What was she, twelve?

"You really should get some rest, Sara. Zari and I will see you tomorrow morning." Before he was able to finish his sentence he caught Sara's wrist in his hand, as she childishly reached for the bottle of what appeared to be Malibu.  
  
"Sara — _enough_." Their friend sighed defeated and the two stood up, making their way to leave. The girl, apparently named Zari, collected all alcohol that was left. When Zari passed Sara she petted her hair. "Let me know when you need anything, okay?" Something about the worry and caring in her voice made Ava believe there was a reason behind Sara's current state. Both Zari and Nate didn't seem anywhere near drunk. Ava pushed her curiousity away. None of her business. None of her care.

Zari left with a simple 'bye' and Nate stopped for a second with the doorknob in his hand. "I know you two don't get along, but please make sure she doesn't leave her room. I'm Nate, by the way." He shot her an apologetic smile.

Ava didn't get the chance to say anthing before the door fell close.

Maybe they weren't that bad after all, though. Just maybe.

Ava looked up to find Sara sitting on her bed, back against the wall. When she was just about to make an attempt to get through her roommates' head — _rules weren't that hard to follow and it was only to maintain the order, and it wasn't good at all to drink just before needing to sleep_ —, Sara was ahead of her.

" _Truth or dare?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Sara insists on playing 'truth or dare' while Ava just wants to _sleep_ (yet again).


	5. Ava

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do not have a stick up my ass. I'm just a normal person who does what she needs to do," Ava replied, but it was not much more than a hum. Read and ignore, Ava. _Read and ignore._
> 
> "On a scale of one to ten, how attractive do you think I am?" Sara opted.
> 
> Gritting her teeth, Ava turned the page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! First of all, I'm sorry this took me so long. Last year has been... weird (for everyone, probably) and even though the pandemic came with a lot of free time, I had a lot of stuff to do and a lot happened. I'll try my best to start picking this up again and to post a chapter more frequently (at least not every half year, lol).
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Again, I'm the biggest perfectionist (it's a pain, really). Let me know what you think, it's really appreciated! And if you're still reading this: thanks so much, you're the best.
> 
> This is not beta'd and English isn't my first language. Feel free to point out mistakes.

" _Truth or dare?_ "

Ava had just grabbed her book from her nightstand and opened it up on the page she had left on yesterday. She closed her eyes for a second, breathed in and out, and met Sara's piercing gaze after a few dramatic minutes. 

There was no way she was going to babysit.

Of course, despite her... _slight dislike_ for Sara, she'd keep an eye on her. It could've been dangerous for her to leave the room. That was one thing. The deal didn't come with her not being able to sleep for the upcoming hours, though.

On another note: the way her view looked — everything surrounding the drunk girl a mess of clothes and random stuff — made her head spin enough.

"I'm not participating," was what she said, eyes back on the book already. "Just go to sleep, Lance. I'm already going mild at you right now." The last bit came out as a murmur, reading past a highlighted quote in her book.

(Yes, she highlighted her favorite parts in books. Don't laugh, but she also had this notebook filled with sentences that were to die for. Some writers were brilliant, okay.)

(Others... weren't.

Recently she found out Stephenie Meyer found it necessary to fill almost every page with at least _one_ 'he chuckled'. 

No offense.)

 _Anyway_.

"Ignoring means truth, you know." Ava didn't need to look up to know Sara was still holding some kind of staring contest with the top of her head. Biting down her lower lip to hold off a snark, she ignored her.

"Okay, truth it is. Why do you have a stick up your ass?" Sara decided to dominate the silence yet again after a few seconds of only the clock ticking. 

Ava closed her eyes, again, and groaned. Then she looked up.

"Sara, truth or dare? Oh, truth? _Okay_. Yes. Why are you an absolute pain in the ass who isn't able to get through the day without either being cocky or drinking too much?" It was all she knew about her, but it felt good enough to use as a way to shut her up. With her eyebrow raised, Ava stared into the blue pools for just a bit longer to make her point, until she found her way back to her book.

Sara had just stared at her, as smug as ever. Her cheeks were still flushed, but now Ava had a better look, she saw how her eyes had the slightest hint of something she couldn't really grasp. Pain?

"Ouch. You didn't answer my question though."

"I do not have a stick up my ass. I'm just a normal person who does what she needs to do," Ava replied, but it was not much more than a hum. Read and ignore, Ava. _Read and ignore._

"On a scale of one to ten, how attractive do you think I am?" Sara opted.

Gritting her teeth, Ava turned the page.

The words hung unanswered in the room and the silence that followed finally lasted longer than just a second. That was until Sara stood up and made her way towards the door, phone and something unknown in hand. 

_Tried to_. She wasn't drunk enough to not be able to walk, but it wasn't like she could move in a perfect straight line either. "Where do you think you're going? _Sit_ ," Ava ordered.

"I need to brush my teeth," came as a reply. Ava growled in frustration. Her gaze didn't leave the girl, opting whether it'd be humane if she'd let her go on her own. Her tripping over shoes while opening the door said enough, though. She closed her book with a theatrical thud.

"We can go together. I need to brush my teeth too. After that... _sleep_."

Sara was the one to roll her eyes this time. "Yes, Director."

"Stop making everything I say something Fifty Shades of Grey-ish."

"You secretly love it."

"I don't. You know what I love? A normal amount of sleep. Not feeling the need to strangle my roommate. A _clean_ room."

"You're a drama queen, Ava Sharpe." 

"And you’re unlikeable."

" _I_ am unlikeable? You're the most boring person I've ever met. You can't tell me there are actually people who'd voluntarily be part of your Ava-… _dictatorship_ ," Sara threw back, sounding surprisingly sober. The way she clung onto the doorknob was the only proof she was… well, drunk.

"You know what? Never mind. Go alone." Ava knew she was being childish, but she didn't care. Patience wasn't part of her dictionary and _oh_ — she crossed a line. Her hands were shaking and she clenched them into fists in order to keep them still. Yes, she had a temper, thanks for asking.

The air that hang between them felt weird. It made her feel uncomfortable.

Hope Knive-owning Allerson was a better option than Sara Lance after all, and that said something.

Both turned around without saying another word; Sara left the room with a bang of the door, Ava walked towards her bed and fell down onto her soft, made-up bedsheets. _Ugh_. 

The only conclusion: converting to Satan did no good either.

As if she found Sara attractive. The fuck. She was the human version of Satan, with her stubborn, child-like, will and those goddamn piercing eyes. Maybe that was why the whole Satan thing didn't work out.

…

 _Books she needed tomorrow_ — check. She should worry about Sara not getting into trouble, even a little, but she didn't. (The only thing that bothered her was the fact she broke her promise to Nate. Not that she actually said she did herself, but still. She never broke those.) Instead she focused on getting everything ready for tomorrow morning. Maybe it'd get her rid of the uptight feeling. _Planner?_ Of course it was next to her journal. _Check_.

Running out of things to do — no way she'd go to the bathroom, too, figuring she'd walk into the blonde —, Ava opened her book again. In an attempt to get to herself, she put on some music. The same song she played when she still had a will to live (dramatic much), an hour ago. It didn't feel magical at all. Anger really got to her.

It didn't take long for her to drift off. It was almost midnight, after all.

…

Ava Sharpe loved nights — until she didn't.

It was like the night before all over again. A pitch black room and her digital clock punching her in the face with its' displayed 03:00. There was no person falling down this time, though. It was silent, if you didn't count the music still echoing through her earphones. 

Well — shit. She fell asleep with her make-up on, without brushing her teeth and doing her skincare routine and with her book on top of her, still day-wear clothed, body. In other words: a nightmare.

With one eye open, tired and stiff thanks to the weird position she laid in, her hand found her phone after a few failed attempts, and paused the song.

It was only then she heard soft sobbing from the other side of the room. 

"Sara?" Ava murmured her thought out loud, disoriented, trying to get everything sorted in her head.

"Leave me the _fuck_ alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Sara _kind of_ breaking, but also _kind of_ keeping herself together. The first day of school. Oh, and aggressive (*cough* sexual) tension.


End file.
